Wednesday, July 8, 2015
File under 4 am epiphanies...ever have something you know to be true? Nagging at you for years...too many years...behind the veil...but there, telling you, asking you notice. Shouting at you to notice. Well, for me, it rang like a big-ass bell really loudly just a bit ago. I'm doing the wrong thing. I've been doing the wrong thing for 37 years. Yes, I love it. Yes, I'm very good at it. But I've felt in a corner of my soul that it's not what I was meant to do, not what I want to do - "Do", or "DO" in this life. I've been getting the signal(s) over the years, and have largely ignored them. I hear, and notice, and ponder, and roll it around in my hands and look closely at it - very aware and lucid and alert. But I still ignore those signs where the rubber meets the road. I "knew" what I wanted to do, and what I didn't want to do, in this life - way back when I was 16 or 17. At the ripe age of 18, I got sidetracked. I have a history of taking paths I don't really want to take. Not want I truly madly deeply full of love and bliss "want" to do. I travel down those paths for far too long. Water under the bridge. Lost opportunities for some fucking richness in this life. No regrets, though, right?. There is still plenty of time. Time to change. Time to manifest some new reality.