the continual practice of radical empathy, theory of mind, self-reflexive critical thinking

One of my photos...along I-35 near New Braunfels...heavily edited...

I like this...hat-tip to Jessamyn...a fb post from a friend of hers...

5. It requires the continual practice of radical empathy, theory of mind, self-reflexive critical thinking, and an intersectional perspective on structures of power to navigate ANY relationship...


Wendy Chin-Tanner
July 24 at 10:51 AM
I am a woman of color who is deeply committed on every level, with every fiber of my being to feminism, anti-racism, and social justice. I have also been partnered with a white man from a privileged background for fifteen years. I don't often share much about the inner workings of my marriage, but suffice it to say that we work on it together and we work on it individually on a continual and sustained basis in order to make this marriage work. This morning, we were talking and I wanted to share a few things from that talk, in case they're helpful to others who may be in similar relationships:

1. To be equal in your house, you have to agree on the fact that you are not equal in the world.

2. He said that the most difficult thing for him as a privileged white male is to acknowledge that he cannot rely on his own perspective or experience to understand the world as poc and women do. Listen to your partner. Believe what they say. Act accordingly.

3. Your objective reality may not be your partner's objective reality. Stay curious about each other's realities.

4. He said, "When it comes to issues of race and gender, if it's your problem, then it's my problem." Be on the same side of the problem.

5. It requires the continual practice of radical empathy, theory of mind, self-reflexive critical thinking, and an intersectional perspective on structures of power to navigate ANY relationship, but especially a relationship with disparities of power.

6. When you do harm, acknowledge it, repair what you can, and do better going forward. Ask your partner what they need, as those needs, like people and relationships, are ever-shifting.