The problem is that white people see racism as conscious hate

“The problem is that white people see racism as conscious hate, when racism is bigger than that. Racism is a complex system of social and political levers and pulleys set up generations ago to continue working on the behalf of whites at other people’s expense, whether whites know/like it or not.  Racism is an insidious cultural disease. It is so insidious that it doesn’t care if you are a white person who likes black people; it’s still going to find a way to infect how you deal with people who don’t look like you. Yes, racism looks like hate, but hate is just one manifestation. Privilege is another. Access is another. Ignorance is another. Apathy is another. And so on. So while I agree with people who say no one is born racist, it remains a powerful system that we’re immediately born into. It’s like being born into air: you take it in as soon as you breathe. It’s not a cold that you can get over. There is no anti-racist certification class. It’s a set of socioeconomic traps and cultural values that are fired up every time we interact with the world. It is a thing you have to keep scooping out of the boat of your life to keep from drowning in it. I know it’s hard work, but it’s the price you pay for owning everything.” ― Scott Woods - Writer/Poet

the continual practice of radical empathy, theory of mind, self-reflexive critical thinking

One of my photos...along I-35 near New Braunfels...heavily edited...

I like this...hat-tip to Jessamyn...a fb post from a friend of hers...

5. It requires the continual practice of radical empathy, theory of mind, self-reflexive critical thinking, and an intersectional perspective on structures of power to navigate ANY relationship...


Wendy Chin-Tanner
July 24 at 10:51 AM
I am a woman of color who is deeply committed on every level, with every fiber of my being to feminism, anti-racism, and social justice. I have also been partnered with a white man from a privileged background for fifteen years. I don't often share much about the inner workings of my marriage, but suffice it to say that we work on it together and we work on it individually on a continual and sustained basis in order to make this marriage work. This morning, we were talking and I wanted to share a few things from that talk, in case they're helpful to others who may be in similar relationships:

1. To be equal in your house, you have to agree on the fact that you are not equal in the world.

2. He said that the most difficult thing for him as a privileged white male is to acknowledge that he cannot rely on his own perspective or experience to understand the world as poc and women do. Listen to your partner. Believe what they say. Act accordingly.

3. Your objective reality may not be your partner's objective reality. Stay curious about each other's realities.

4. He said, "When it comes to issues of race and gender, if it's your problem, then it's my problem." Be on the same side of the problem.

5. It requires the continual practice of radical empathy, theory of mind, self-reflexive critical thinking, and an intersectional perspective on structures of power to navigate ANY relationship, but especially a relationship with disparities of power.

6. When you do harm, acknowledge it, repair what you can, and do better going forward. Ask your partner what they need, as those needs, like people and relationships, are ever-shifting.