Here is a flowchart/diagram diagrammatical grammatical graphical interface dance notation of every known perpetration and permutation of bad floorcraft, and the evasive/corrective maneuvers to compensate for being on the receiving end of bad floorcraft and also with all good floorcraft techniques and manifestations also illustrated...(this is a joke)
Artist unknown, and I don't know what his actually represents. Probably nothing. Probably just someone doodling.
I thought it was funny. In this context. Hilarious, actually.
I ran across the image whilst farting around and looking at this: Images extracted from the latter half of Choregraphie, a book first published in 1700 which details a dance notation system invented by Raoul-Auger Feuillet which revolutionised the dance world. Just out of curiosity.
Curious, I clicked on the link, only to be disappointed beyond disbelief. Lame. Really lame bordering on asinine and an insult to any man's intelligence. More mindboggling-ly-ness-ish. Whatever. The fuck.
So, I thought I would come up with my own "Gifts for the Man in Your Life" as alternates to the selections from Cosmo.
Here ya go...as always, would the two of you readers please let me know what you think? Thanks in advance!
Happy Holidays, bah humbug, and Joy to the World. Seriously, and not necessarily in that order.
Cosmopolitan Magazine: Dirty Joke Book AlexTangoFuego: The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
Sidenote: Gentlemen tell funny jokes, not dirty jokes. I have remembered only one joke over the years, and it works every time. Told only when the rare and appropriate opportunity presents itself.
Cosmopolitan Magazine: Jack Robie Men's Shirt [$115] AlexTangoFuego: Ike Behar White Dress Shirt with French Cuffs (or a Lucky Brand Cowboy Shirt with pearl snaps as an alternate)
Sidenote: Only so he can now wear the killer one-of-a-kind cufflinks you searched the world over to find. And yes, even a hillbilly like me can find an opportunity to wear French cuffs/links - even if it's only once a year - on New Year's Eve, or bringing Mom to church at St. Mark's.
Cosmopolitan Magazine: NASCAR Race Car Ride AlexTangoFuego: Argentine Tango Lessons
Sidenote: If your guy is into NASCAR, he ain't a "real" man. Dump him. Now. Tango gives him that same counterclockwise ronda, only navigating as slowly as humanly possible through the crowd, and much, much more manly.
Cosmopolitan Magazine: DVD "Get Him to the Greek" AlexTangoFuego: DVD "Baraka"
Sidenote: What the fuck?
Cosmopolitan Magazine: Piece of Ireland [$49.99] AlexTangoFuego: Photography Book of Ireland, or Greece, or Italy or...
Cosmopolitan Magazine: Beatles Album Cover Coasters AlexTangoFuego: Beatles Book or actual CD or iTunes Gift
Sidenote: Again, what the fuck? Coasters? What kind of man wants Beatles coasters? If you really want to get him some coasters, make them yourself, like Martha Stewart would. Find a local steel supply house or fabrication shop, ask them to cut you some 1/4" steel plate into 3-1/2" squares and grind them smooth. Then go to Tandy leather and buy some heavy suede leather. Glue that to one side (the bottom) of the steel plates, and trim and file it smooth. With foot file. Or, go to your local blacksmith, he or she will do it up right - handforged, with hammer marks and patina and bluing. Ah, and a sprayed on clearcoat, or dark natural waxed finish (car wax will do).
Those will be coasters worthy of a man.
Cosmopolitan Magazine: Apple Remote AlexTangoFuego: Apple Shuffle (if they still make it) Or, even cooler, an Apple Airport Express (even if he has a PC). It will allow wireless streaming of music from PC or MacBook to stereo or boom box. Very cool.
Sidenote: Now he won't have any excuses not to get out there and jog and/or ride the mountain bike. Music = movement.
Cosmopolitan Magazine: Fake Parking Tickets (to hand out to enemies???) AlexTangoFuego: Louise Hay daily affirmation cards in a box - just get the most manly ones you can find. I have these, they were my second ex-wife's, but she left them with me.
Sidenote: Gentlemen don't have enemies, they have friends. And if he's into giving out fake parking tickets, he needs the daily affirmations. Badly.
Cosmopolitan Magazine: Chocri Chocolate AlexTangoFuego: Any kind of gourmet dark chocolate - check Whole Foods. If all you have is a Piggly Wiggly, a plain 'ol Hershey Bar will do.
Sidenote: This Chocri shit looks like...like...well...shit.
Cosmopolitan Magazine: Grooming Kit AlexTangoFuego: A straight razor and a strop and a cool brush/cake/cup. Or a vintage Gillette Safety Razor (like our Dads used) with the double edged blades.
Sidenote: We don't do "kits". Unless it's a set of Klein screwdrivers or a couple of 18 volt driver/drills in a box with extra batteries.
Cosmopolitan Magazine: Corporate Flashcards AlexTangoFuego: Dominoes (the little rectangular things with dots on them)
Sidenote: My dad played dominoes, and I still look forward to learning and playing on a little flimsy card table with a group of like-minded men. Human interaction, male bonding, exercising your brain - always wins out over any kind of corporate mumbo-jumbo malarkey BS.
Cosmopolitan Magazine: Mini Air Hockey Table [$22] AlexTangoFuego: Tickets to an actual hockey game.
Sidenote: Even if he's not into hockey, this will be fun as shit, trust me. (Fun as shit is a good thing.)
Cosmopolitan Magazine: DVD Trilogy/Set (aka "Kit") "Back to the Future" AlexTangoFuego: DVD Set (okay, a "Kit") "John Adams The Miniseries" or at least the unrated version of "The Hangover" or if you're into trilogies - box set of "The Lord of the Rings". The book/s. Okay, I guess the film would be okay.
Sidenote: You've got to be fucking kidding me...!? Maybe he'll find a role model in John Adams or Thomas Jefferson.
Hard to argue with. This is a good cause. But don't git'cher little feelings hurt if he never wears them and gives them to GoodWill.
Cosmopolitan Magazine: Binoculars from REI AlexTangoFuego: Binoculars from REI, and a bird identification book.
Again, hard to argue with, and get him an REI membership, too, while your at it. And don't get pissy if you catch him scoping out the babes on the other side at the ice hockey game when you come back from the bathroom. Go easy on him, he's only looking, not touching. He's there with you, and going home with you, and waking up with you, right? Right.
That's the end of my alternate selections for your consideration. The Cosmo thing made me wonder who wrote that piece up, and who on the editorial staff approved it. They must/might have early 20 something bimbettes running their Facebook presence. It sounded like shit that the girls working at McDonald's and Wendy's would talk about on their breaks. "I'm getting my Johnny a mini-air hockey game for Christmas! Maybe he'll ask me to marry him!"
Beam me the fuck up, Scotty.
AlexTangoFuego Exclusives:
Random other stuff I thought up and/or saw sitting around my office...
Telescope - a good one - for y'all to ponder the Universe together on cold starlit nights. And to look at the lunar eclipse tonight on the Winter Solstice - oops! Too late!
Anvil - Peddinghaus drop forged, #12, 275 pounds. But, ladies, be damned sure there's some blacksmith in him first. This is just the beginning of a substantial investment of time and money. You won't see much of him for long stretches of time, but he'll make you a one-of-a-kind-in-the-universe pot rack or blow dryer hook or lipstick storage thingamajigger.
Journal - leather bound. For him to express his inner-most desires and feelings. Think Hemingway or Jack Kerouac.
Books - photography, of the coffee table variety; poetry, of the Neruda or Robert Service variety; classics of the Iliad & The Odyssey variety.
Longneck zip-up coozies - practical stocking stuffers - for long days in the forge learning how to use that anvil, or at least with his feet propped up on it writing in the leather journal. With a six-pack of Miller High-Life, The Champagne of Beers, long necks.
On the beer subject, a cast, handpainted nekkid lady church key. It doesn't work, e.g. it won't actually open a beer bottle, but I like it. It's hanging in a tree next to the BBQ grill.
Ah! SSTL BBQ grill. Nice-ish ones have come down hugely in price over the past few years. The less expensive ones are not 100% stainless steel [sstl] and lighter gauge, but more than adequate. Like $299-ish. Or something along those lines. Check Home Depot or Lowe's although I loathe those joints - you can't beat the pricing.
Wall calendar - not puppies, but maybe horses or Ansel Adams photography or Sierra Club wilderness ones. Y'all don't like 'em cluttering up the walls, but we do like 'em. They have replaced our adolescent posters of Farrah Fawcett's nips on the back of our bedroom door, only now we're more sophisticated, and the FF image is permanently burned into the solid state random access memory banks. (Every American man who just read that, now has pulled the image up in his mind's eye...I guarantee it...but I digress....)
Letter opener - not just any 'ol letter opener. One like this. Good luck finding it. If you get him the anvil, then he can make one like it.
A hammer - here are my favorites. Estwing straight/ripping claw. 28 ounce. Smooth face. Klein screw drivers. Milwaukee or Makita or Hitachi or DeWalt or Bosch power tools. No Black and Decker or other handyhomeowner brands. Good tools cost a lot, but last forever.
Tango Music - Guardia Vieja/Golden Age preferably. Hard to find though. This would have to be the subject of another post. Here is some Canaro on Amazon - Poema is a good one.
Wine - Far Niente, Cabernet. Or MacMurray Ranch Pinot Noir. Good stuff either way. Far Niente is my dead cousin's winery in Napa, or Oak Hill.
The common themes - humility, strength, honor, wisdom, intellect, creativity - iron, leather, stone, fire, heft, tactile, long-lasting, earthy, awe-inspiring - something he can pass on to the kids and then the grandkids. Something he will cherish and use for years and years - something beyond just the material aspect of it. Something with some soul and energy in it, ideally.
Hope this helps in some way/shape/form. I'm cutting myself off. I was about to start preaching. Instead, I'll leave you with this, something I found somewhere and wrote on the first page of that journal...
First, my apologies for unleashing this on you so early on a Sunday morning. There's a great deal of informational drivel in this post. Get coffee first...and start that grin 'a crackin' at the crack of dawn...
My first title to this post was "We're Being Quantitatively Eased and We Don't Even Know It", which seemed wordy and nebulous. You guys know how I like to, tongue in cheek, try to come up with some kind of sensationalist headline tying back to tango. Just for fun. For this one the tie-back is much more difficult - obviously it doesn't make sense.
I tried to think of a relationship between printing more money and tango. $600,000,000,000 aka six hundred billion dollars are being printed up (the first $105 billion this coming week) over the next eight months. I'm not completely clear on the whole thing, but they are saying "We're not printing money", and are emphasizing that they are buying government bonds.
So a guy spends a lot of money on his tango, but nothing happens...?
As in the "All hat and no cattle" concept?
So a guy spends a lot of money on his tango, his ego gets inflated (inflation), and his tango gets weaker (deflation)...?
So a guy spends a lot of money on his tango, learns some half-assed kickass highboleo moves, leading to ego inflation, and destabilization of the milonga...?
So a guy spends a lot of money on his tango, leading to ego inflation, and takes a trip to Buenos Aires aka TangoMecca for further lessons and a world stage to show off his half-assed kickass highboleo moves, which leads to destabilization of an international milonga, and finds that the women aren't impressed by his ego nor his tango, which leads to ego deflation, and tango stagnation...?
So a guy spends a lot of money on his tango, leading to ego inflation, decides to manifest himself into a tango a teacher and teach his HAKAHB to others, (begins to troll the milongas across the globe for a suitable potranca rusa/SYT/teaching partner), leading them to invest more of their hard-earned short-supplied greenbacks into their tango, which in turn leads to further tango deflation and destabilization of the milongas, resulting in dissatisfied women, who stay home to watch "Dances with the Stars", yielding a gender imbalance, stimulating the lamentations of the menfolk to yield even higher investment into tango investment bonds, which of course, the guy benefits from as a direct result...? (Guy and SYT move to Spain or Isla de Pantelleria to open a Tango bar using the windfall tango profits and live happily ever after)
Or, finally, in desperation, confusion and frustration, the guy decides to just give his tango greenbacks to the tango dealers (in "support", without actually attending any classes), and hopes that somehow it will get infused back into his tango, somehow, someday, somewhere...?
Probably not.
Who knows? I don't completely understand it - on the downstream end anyway - in terms of how this will benefit the global economy, or not. Methinks someone, somewhere, somehow, some day soon, will be stuffing their pockets and teabags with at least some of the aforementioned $600 billion.
My gut tells me we are in for a wild ride over the next 30 years aka "the rest of my life". Maybe by then I will be a highly leveraged milonguero wannabe/blacksmith.
Stay tuned for my upcoming articles - "The Qualitative Easement Tango" and "Tango Derivatives Demystified"!
Here is the first (1 in 5) article in a series explaining QE2 - that appears to be pretty good, albeit technical/economicspeak, with a flowchart and all. Cool!
"Common sense tells us money printing is probably not the path to long-term prosperity and low unemployment, but common sense also tells us after a possible QE disappointment pullback, newly printed U.S. dollars will be finding their way into the global stock, commodity, and currency markets. The big questions are (a) how much QE is coming in terms of a dollar amount, and (b) how much of that money will find its way into the financial markets."
And here is the corresponding Quantitative Easement for Tango flow chart: You *know* they always say that Tango is THE most complicated investment a human being can make. This is why monkeys don't dance tango or make investments or try to influence the global economy to the upside.
Here's a tiny blurb I found on the topic on MSNBC: (although I didn't look very hard)
By JEANNINE AVERSA The Associated Press updated 11/10/2010 3:24:54 PM ET 2010-11-10T20:24:54
WASHINGTON — The Federal Reserve says it will buy a total of $105 billion worth of government bonds starting later this week as it launches a new program to invigorate the economy.
The bonds will be purchased through a series of 18 operations that start on Friday and end on Dec. 9. The purchases are the first since the Fed announced last week that it will buy a total of $600 billion worth of Treasury bonds over the next eight months.
The Fed will buy $75 billion of government debt as part of the new program. And, it will buy another $30 billion, using the proceeds from its vast mortgage portfolio.
That totals $105 billion for the first phase of the Fed's government bond buying. The Fed last week said it anticipates buying on average $110 billion a month.
And finally, the genesis for this post, from Dieudonne's comment on my Jon Stewart post...thanks D!
Actually, having written/blogarreah'd this self-amusing piece of BS, I have arrived at that tie-back (there is a word for this) that I was looking for - the true essence of the quantitative easement of global tango - in the vein of too much of a good thing. But I'm out of time. I have to get to work now.
Don't even ask what this has to do with Bayer Corporation manufacturing the neurotoxic pesticide that is killing honey bees...but that *is* the original source (in my head) for this little gem...
Here's a reply I offered to a post by Mari [My Tango Diaries] over at TangoConnections. She was asking about Ney Melo's comment (below) and how leaders think feedback delivery would be most productive/least offensive. Feedback. Delivery. Both? How? Thoughts?
Mari, I hope you'll forgive me for borrowing your topic...not really borrowing your topic, but borrowing your topic to throw my reply out there for the world to consider...and because I believe it to be some of my more hilarious writing...forgive me?
Anyway, here's my reply to Mari's post...
"I truly believe that when women start using their power of declining dances and sending messages, then that is when the leaders will start working to improve their dance." [Ney Melo]
Declining dances AND sending messages.
Once, after having been "No thank you'd" after a delicious tanda by the partner of a prominent tango maestro, I was approached by a courier carrying a worn but beautifully patinaed leather satchel. The courier's official looking hat belied her beauty, with long hair tucked underneath. She presented to me an envelope made of extravagant heavy weight Italian paper reclaimed from parchment found in a 13th Tuscan monastery. I take note that it is sealed with an ornate wax impression as I slip my thumb under the fold to open it. I also note that it is scented lightly with perfume. It is a scent that at once makes the fine hairs stand up on the back of my neck. I know this scent. There is honey in it.
Before pulling the leaf of paper from its elegant enfoldment, I discreetly check my surroundings to assure my privacy, and that of the writer. It is evident from the penmanship that the writer is a woman, if the perfume is not evidence enough. The flowing beauty of her pen strokes intrigues me.
As I read her words, I exhaled deeply in disappointment. Thoughts raced through my mind. Could this be? I had no idea. "I no longer want to dance tango with you." she wrote. But why? I ask myself.
Then I notice there is another line, apparently written with more haste. "Meet me in the cloak room. Now."
Sorry, I got carried away there.
I've seen a guy get declined on the floor after the first song of a tanda, ask another for the second song, get declined, and then dance with a third to round out the tanda. This guy was a hunched over troll (but a really nice guy) with a pelvic thrusting, puppy dog humping lead yet all the followers gave him all the dances he could get. Our community was so small that all the followers could not bring themselves to say anything. I got fed up with all the complaints (from the followers) about his pelvic thrusting, his banana in his pocket, his bad breath, his B.O., and overall bad lead. As I recall now, he was not even dancing anything closely resembling tango. So, I got fed up and was going to tell the guy the truth - man to man - and basically ask him to leave the tango community and move on down the road. This is totally not me - I'm non-confrontational extraordinaire - but this was serious, or so I thought. The followers (five or six of them) shut me down and told me not to do it, that I would crush his spirit, crush him to say this. So I didn't. Eventually he moved and/or moved on, leaving tango I think in favor of swing.
So, here's what I think about "sending messages". If you want to send a message to a leader that his lead sucks, don't decline upon invitation. Don't dance an entire tanda and then never dance with him again. Accept the invitation, and then after the first dance (or unpleasantry) politely "thank you" him, turn, and walk yourself back to your seat. Some will not get this - per the story above. Most will. It's a difficult thing to do - even mild rejection is tough to pull off in our society. It probably even feels/seems harsh. Continue to dance the one song with him, milonga after milonga, month after month, year after year, until he gets it and gets the help he needs to improve/correct his lead.
If you really think the guy has redeeming value as a leader, here are some other ways to send a message:
::Anonymous comments on his blog (although this is public) ::Get his email and send a message from an anonymous email account (yahoo, gmail) where he can't track you ::Envelope with a note delivered via courier ::Super-sticky Post It note delivered by patting him on the back with it (added advantage of flagging him to other followers) :: Blocked caller ID phone calls/messages :: Paper bag with something in it on the front porch, message scrawled on the bag (only don't light it!) :: FedEx/UPS/SnailMail/Singing Telegram/StripperGram :: Send an emissary follower or leader (good cop bad cop) to deliver the advice/counsel/bad news :: Intervention
I know I'm being flip and over(t)ly comedic here and there in this reply...I'm still "in a mood" Mari...but the ones like BO and bad breath become more tricky...cologne, not so tricky...issues with his lead should be easiest to deal with...but how if they don't show up in classes or practicas...I "self-realized" many of my own lead-related issues through video taping myself and photographing myself dancing with a partner at 6 frames per second (tripod)...the photographs offered stop-motion imagery that was better for analysis...self analysis...in the video I just looked bad...in the photographs it was like "what the hell is my foot doing way out there!!!???" I would recommend both. But, and there always is a but, I would offer/estimate that the vast majority of leaders are not that into "being the best they can be". I'm a "you make me want to be a better man" kinda guy.
Ultimately, I think directness and honesty mixed with sweetness would work best for me. Delivery, pace, tone, inflection, body language and facial expression all become paramount when giving someone sensitive feedback. Some women would come across as a bitch, others as a goddess/savior. The latter is the goal obviously.
At a milonga, if a woman came up to me, hugged me, kissed me on the cheek, and nuzzled into my ear and whispered "My name is Alessandra, and you need a breath mint before you dance with me." in a breathy and sexy voice, I think I'd be running across the street to the 7-11 for some TicTacs, dodging speeding traffic, through rain or snow or sleet. But that's me. Some guys might get pissed and never dance with her again.
I dunno. This is a tough one Mari.
I think Joyce Miller nailed it best. [Joyce's reply: Unless it is an adjustment of the arm too high, or an embrace too tight, then I think that the feedback for either party is best kept in practice. If you can't do it with a little body adjustment, like trying to find another connection spot, then it should be saved for a teaching environment, not a milonga. If the person doesn't come to lessons, workshops, or a practica, then you are S-O-L. The other party knows that you do not enjoy the dance, by the way you never look in their direction at a milonga. This is a two-way, very effective non-communication. I know if a man never asks me to dance, then it has two be one of two things: 1) he doesn't like me as a person, or 2) he doesn't like the way I dance. I will seek out those who I want to talk about our dance with, in the practice, and try to start a discussion with pleasantry or smiles, and if it goes well, then cabaceo them at the milonga for another try. Otherwise - move on or be prepared to be seated!]
A good find from thedirtroadcowgirl...way back on 12/11/2008...I said it then that I didn't have time to watch the entire thing, then saved it as a draft and never went back and published it...
This time I did watch it in its entirety...it's Popeye and cast dancing in a "Dance Contest"...the dancing looks suspiciously like tango...although the music is most definitely not tango...watch until the very end and see Popeye and Brutus dancing together, and Popeye back boleos Brutus to the head...
Good stuff...for a hot, lazy, nonproductive Sunday afternoon.
This is a good one (on politicians and our political systems) that I am almost in total agreement with. Who do we have now to "give voice to an indignant counter culture"?
I just love a good paleontological innuendo. Especially in mainstream media.
An even better one (innuendo) is what they named the horny beast - Kryptops palaios, or "old hidden face". But you will have to "dig deeper" to get that one. OMG. An innuendo within a pun within an innuendo.
From a linkMs. Hedgehog provided...comparing leaders to various types of car drivers...note that some of the posts are from Great Britain, so a few I don't get...
Leaders...driver "types ::
The taxi driver always in a rush, just wants to get to the destination, but not always taking the needs of the passenger into account.
The chauffeur A lovely smooth ride, optimum pleasure for his passenger.
F1 racing driver Handles the car with ultimate precision, every turn well though out in advance.
The Bus Driver The vehicle must need as much strength as possible to get it moving, stands to reason as it's so large, surely?????
The Learner Driver Nervous, breaks down every movement needed to drive the car. Ecstatic to get from A to B.
The Sunday Driver Wants to drive purely for the pleasure. Takes it easy, without worrying about the other drivers and their hangups.
The Demolition Derby Driver Doesn't care about the damage caused to his car, just wants to enjoy himself!
The Drive-in-Movie Driver The car isn't going anywhere, and he 's mostly focussed on getting his hand up your skirt
The Compulsive Mechanic Can't stop himself from fiddling and tweaking
The Stunt Driver Extreme driving, takes mad risks, needs an audience
The mechanic He's more interested in the workings of the car and what's under the bonnet that actually making the ride pleasant for his passenger
the gocart driver wants to be a F1 driver, but looks like a beginner
the rally driver who needs bungee jumping to get an adrenaline rush.
the black cab driver knows exactly what to do, but insists on talking all the way through.
the premier insurance driver more concerned with keeping their no claims bonus than trying anything interesting
the minibus driverdouble trouble is for wimps
The 'Back-seat Driver' Not actually driving, but insists on commenting / taking control.
The 'Commuter' Looks down at all the other drivers who don't know all the short-cuts on his daily journey. Hates being overtaken, cut across or drivers of a better model.
The 'BMW Driver' Owns the road, especially the fast lane.
The Automatic Car Driver Puts into forward, sits back and lets the car do all the work. When he's finished his journey puts it into neutral and abandons it.
The Male Driver Completely lost but will not ask for directions
The Tailgater Always drives that leetle bit too close for comfort, despite your tendency to nudge the brakes as a warning.
The Flash Git Drives everywhere with hazard lights flashing (especially common around Xmas and Halloween time)
And then here are some follower car "types" ::
The Mercedes smooth, refined, but a bit soul-less
The BMW like a mercedes, but better to drive
The Skoda everything works, but somehow the overall effect is lost
The VW Beetle a triumph of style over technique
The Rover been dancing for years, but still can't do the basics
The MG A Rover that has done 1 style workshop
The Ferrari can't wait to be let off the leash, tight and responsive
The 4x4 always gets in the way of everyone else
The Land Rover doesn't matter what you do, will always come back for more.
The Aston Martin the ultimate
The Renault Megane a slightly out of proportion booty with a lot of hip action.
Ford Escort does the basics relatively competently, no bells and whistles, gears will crunch if you try to change too quickly
The Hearse Always in black. Very smooth. Incapable of going faster than 40bpm. Identifiable by the convoy of other vehicles following her around. If you hang around her too long, she may drive you to religion.
The Convertible versatile and able to play more than one role. Some men feel uneasy with left hand drive models
How about the car with the broken shock-absorbers that just won't stop bouncing?
The '56 Caddy Nice ride, but handles like the Exxon Valdez, fully loaded, in high seas...
funny? or just plain sad...a buddy sent this to me as a joke...reminds me of aspen...and my last post...
ORIGINAL INQUIRY
THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York . I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City , so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810 THE ANSWER Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump." I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
It snowed yesterday and last night...in town...Aspen is at about 8,200 ft elevation...it was starting to spit a bit and I heard a dad at the park/playscape telling his young son and daughter it was time to go back to the house...the four year old daughter started to whine and whimper saying she wanted to stay longer.... the dad said "you know, I am beginning to regret bringing you to Aspen..." to which more bawling ensued... a four year old... his tone sounded like he was talking to his trophy wife or trophy girlfriend...
A group of three very well made up women walking down the sidewalk...huge diamond rings (I notice that I check out the ring finger alot these days...) ... and one of them says .... "It's like that new trend, 'white trash gourmet'..." I actually considered walking back to ask her more about this new trend... just out of curiousity... but I didn't...
Anyway, I found these two amusing/interesting enough to share... I like "white trash gourmet"... I will have to start using that one...
I came back to add this one... it happened to me last night at the Caribou Club... a twenty-six something realtor babe came up to me in a drunken stupor... with some kind of drug/chemical induced not-so-pleasant breath... she had given me some indisputible smiles of "interest" earlier... so she came up to me at the bar... struck up the typical lame conversation... Realtor Babe: "where are you visiting from?" ... Alex: "I live here"... Realtor Babe: "oh, where do you live?" (meaning in Aspen proper or what we call "downvalley") Alex: "I live here in Aspen." Realtor Babe: "Where in Aspen?" Alex: "On Main Street" Realtor Babe: "Where on Main Street?" Alex: (telling the truth) "In a basement apartment under a commercial building." Realtor Babe: no response.... she just turned and walked away without saying a thing.
I am actually laughing out loud as I write this. My ego is secure - actually boosted a bit that she at least found me visually appealing at 20 years her senior - even if my net worth wasn't up to snuff. Had I answered "Red Mountain"... or "The West End" ... or lied and said I was visiting from out of town and staying at "The Little Nell"... it might have turned out differently... but then again, I am not that kind of guy... she wasn't my type... and the sickysweetacridchemicaldruginducedbreath thing... so sad...
Anyway, I went to the Shell station (our only 24 hour store) where everyone hangs out in the late late night... to see if I could find a sweet thing to take home with me... which I did... and crawled into bed... under the down comforter and silk blanket... naked... with my bag of Oreos...
