Tango::"The Surrender" [Follow up]

I've been reading with great interest all of the comments that readers have been leaving on my prior post "The Surrender".

Danzarin's comment in particular (at 5:30am this morning) got me to wondering, is it, this ever elusive "surrender", that is responsible for what we call the tango "epiphany", some call the "tangasm". That special dance with the special someone that may not be repeated all night - nor in a month of dances, nor a year of dances.

For me, I have always said these occured for me one in one hundred dances - alhtough it may be more like one in fifty or one in thirty. Except for the one follower - the one where only one in one hundred dances does not feel like this. Two souls - two energetic beings - our true beings - our true "selves" - embracing one another - a concept that came to me in a dream many months ago.

Is there a tango "soulmate" for each of us? The "one"? The Neo and the Trinity?

Tango:: "The Surrender"

Photo by Leone...from the Catania (Italia) Tango Festival...

I find that some beginning followers have trouble with what I call "the surrender". I feel it in the first few seconds of the embrace and ensuing equilibration. I feel it - or not. Some very experienced followers have still not mastered it. It comes from everything within a woman (I think) - her past relationships - her body image - her self confidence - her insecurities - her nervousness at being new to the dance - or the absence of nervousness.

I have danced with rank beginners (first time on the floor) who although I feel their nervousness - quickened breathing - heart fluttering against my chest - sweaty palms - almost to the point of trembling - but who still seem to have mastered the surrender from the get-go.

Actually, I don't think it's something that can be "mastered". I wonder if it's something that you are born with, or not. But then I know it must come with an increasing comfort level - comfort with the dance, comfort with follower vocabulary, comfort with a leader, desire to dance with a leader. A woman may have a perfect surrender with one leader - and be more tentative about it with another.

I don't think the surrender can be taught...nor "practiced"...nor even conveyed verbally...what's a leader to do?

All I know is that I feel it - when a woman surrenders herself to me - surrenders herself to be led by me - surrenders the placement of her feet to me - surrenders control of her axis to me - surrenders herself to my embrace - and when I feel it, it feels so very good.