How To Cabeceo And Mirada In The Milonga And Why - Edinburgh Tango Society - Rita Horne - Jessie Kennedy

 https://edinburghtango.org.uk/story/how-to-cabeceo-and-mirada-in-the-milonga-and-why-2540

By Rita Horne & Jessie Kennedy

When the cabeceo and mirada are employed by everyone in the milonga it creates a wonderful possibility for tango leaders and followers to find, connect and dance with everyone in a respectful, kind and efficient way.

What is a tango ‘leader’ and ‘follower’?

Leaders and followers are simple terms to describe the two dance roles in a tango partnership. Tango is an improvised dance. The leader role suggests or ‘leads’ the dance. The follower role ‘follows’ or responds and plays with the leader’s suggestions. The leader dances on the music and the follower dances ever so slightly behind the middle of the musical note.

Where do the words ‘cabeceo’ and ‘mirada’ come from? 

In Spanish, the word ‘Cabeza’ means ‘head’ and, therein, the word ‘Cabeceo’ refers to the ‘nod of the head’. The cabeceo is the traditional way for a tango leader to ask someone to dance in the milonga. The Spanish word ‘Mirada’ means to ‘look’ or ‘gaze’. This is the tango follower’s way of showing a particular leader that he/she is interested in dancing. In our modern times, the cabeceo and mirada can both act as a way to initiate an invitation to dance.

Why do we use the cabeceo? 

This is the most respectful way to ask someone to dance without placing them, or yourself, in a socially public and possibly uncomfortable situation. The person you are asking is able to accept or decline discreetly without feeling forced or cornered. Equally, the person asking knows that the person accepting actually wants to dance and hasn’t accepted out of social obligation. Consider the scenario where a follower has just finished dancing a tanda and wishes to rest. If a leader then approaches that follower and asks for a dance, in front of everyone, that follower is publicly forced to either accept out of social obligation and not necessarily because he/she wants to dance, or decline, therein, causing a scene and possibly embarrassment on both sides. Without the cabeceo, a leader cannot be absolutely certain that their partner truly wants to dance. Would you really like to spend a whole tanda dancing with someone who doesn’t really want to dance with you? Dancing tango requires an element of trust in your partner. By inviting and accepting using the cabeceo and mirada a couple establish eye-contact which is one of the most powerful ways to build trust. Both dancers know with certainty that their partner wants to dance with them and this connection is carried forward into their dance together. One of the most wonderful reasons for using the cabeceo is because it creates an open forum with unlimited opportunities for everyone to dance with everyone. A dancer is not reliant on knowing people or limited to only dancing with friends and associates. Strangers can ask and accept invitations to dance. Dancers can truly explore and enjoy dancing with everyone. Also, imagine if there were hundreds of dancers in a milonga and then imagine if everyone had to walk around, stumbling through the crowd, in order to physically approach and ask the person they wish to dance with. The milonga would be utter chaos. Certainly, it would be a time-consuming, exhausting process to get a dance. The cabeceo allows numerous dancers to ask and accept quickly and discreetly from across the dancefloor. If declined, a leader still has time to ask someone else.

As a leader, how do I ask someone to dance using the cabeceo? 

Place yourself in a position that is visible to the follower you wish to ask. Catch their eye and indicate with your eyes and any appropriate facial expression the question ‘do you want to dance’.

As a follower, how can I use the mirada to suggest to a leader that I want to dance with them? 

Choose the dancer you would like to dance with. Try to catch their eye and indicate with your eyes, with a smile or anything else that you are interested in dancing with them. If that leader wants to dance with you too they will cabeceo you. Equally, be mindful of how you appear. Sit or stand in a place where leaders can easily see you. If you want to dance, be aware of your body language and make it clear to everyone around you that you DO want to dance. For example, sit up in your chair, put your phone away, look interested in the music and dancing and be open to being cabeceo’d. Smile!

How do I accept a cabeceo? 

Nod your head and smile to confirm you accept the dance. Stay seated or in your position while maintaining eye-contact. Wait for your leader to approach you to escort you to the floor.

How do I decline a cabeceo or mirada? 

If you notice that someone is trying to catch your eye, but you don’t wish to dance with them, try not to make eye contact and turn away to make it discreetly obvious that you are not available.

What happens if I accidentally make eye-contact with the wrong person? 

If you do make eye-contact, show no reaction and quickly look away to indicate to that person that you are looking for someone else.

What should I do if my cabeceo or mirada is rejected? 

If you sense that the person you are looking at is aware of you, but is looking elsewhere, then move on to another dancer and maybe try that dancer another time.

Why would someone decline my cabeceo or mirada? 

There are many reasons why someone might decline your cabeceo. They may not like that music or style of tanda, or, they may want to rest for a while. Perhaps they were hoping to dance with someone else, and, it’s true, they may just simply not wish to dance with you right now. And that’s ok! It doesn’t matter. Don’t waste time and energy worrying about this. Move swiftly on to find someone else to dance with.

Do I really need to cabeceo my friends? 

Yes. Of course. Your friends also deserve your respect and the option to decline your invitation. Your friends are not obliged to dance with you just as you are not obliged to dance with them.

Conclusively…

The cabeceo and mirada are fun! If you haven’t already give it a try next time you go dancing.

★

Subject: Opinion / Etiquette

Published: 5 September 2022 by Rita Horne

Credits: We created this wonderful photo at our beloved Counting House Sunday milonga during a cortina. A great many thanks to our outstanding models, friends and local dancers in the Edinburgh tango community. From left to right: Teo, Fiona, Piotr, Alastair, Sarah, Yavor, Agnietė and Emilia.

Newsletter: Why cabeceo and mirada? Milongas coming up this week!

Co-Author: Rita Horne

Co-Author: Jessie Kennedy

Cabeceo Stories :: Maria Filali and Gianpiero Galdi :: 030 Tango

I think I've posted this one before...








030tango
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In this episode of the Cabeceo Stories Maria Filali and Gianpiero Galdi tell us two stories about saying no to dancing, with and without cabeceo.

The cabeceo is an essential part of Argentine Tango culture. A simple and elegant way to show interest to dance with each other! Because we are not used to look into each others eyes, it can be the cause for a lot of confusion and fun. But when it works, it's the perfect way to start to dance!
030tango is gathering the best cabeceo stories by tango dancers from all over the world!

We would like to hear your story!
Record your story with your webcam, mobile phone or other camera and send it to us with a WeTransfer, Dropbox or GoogleDrive Link via our contact form at
https://www.030tango.com/contact/

If you are wondering what this Cabeceo is that he is talking about, read our guide to Cabeceo on 030tango:
https://www.030tango.com/a-guide-to-t...

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Visit 030tango for more videos
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Recorded on 2016/08/20 at Tango Cazino Festival 2016
#030tango #cabeceo #tango #FilaliGaldi

Music: “Celos” by Tangopianissimo
https://www.tangopianissimo.com





https://youtu.be/vMtPXyY7Nbs

My first encuentro - So I experienced what followers experience

Private milonga @ La Manufactura Papelera en Barrio San Telmo/Buenos Aires
April 22, 2007
AlexTangoFuegoFoto



Sugar G and I got invited to an encuentro. We've been invited to a few others, but this is the first we could attend. Nice venue, nice part of town, nice group of people, "okay" airbnb close by. Great dj'ing, amazing/real food, great energy/vibe, kinda slick floor. All that jazz. From a leader's perspective, a 'target rich environment' as Rigoberto Ruizik and I would say back when such sexist locker room talk was less frowned upon.




So the first night, no one knew me from Adam, except the host and a couple of other folks. Sugar G reconnected with a large handful of old friends.

She danced.

I sat.

Y'all may not know this about me, but I'm shy. Introverted extrovert or vice versa. Not forthcoming with the gift of gab. I might even be perceived as aloof. I've been a loner pretty much since I could walk.

So I'm at a disadvantage from the get-go.

But, I circulated, wandered around. As best I could. I smiled. I made eye contact. Which was not reciprocated. Much. It felt like any reciprocal eye contact was being avoided. Eyes averted. Eyes down. I kinda felt like a voyeur. Everyone knew everyone and there was a lot of heartfelt greeting and reconnecting going on. People hadn't seen people for some months.

Small but important factor. We were the oldest ones there. I was the oldest one there. Average age = my daughter's age. Or definitely newborns when I was 19.

Voyeur or chaperone at prom. Hmm. Or maybe hmmm?

One tanda with the hostess. Three or four with Sugar G. Maybe five. Six total.

The rest of the time I sat. Or stood.





Nice to be back dancing after nearly a year of kind not much dancing. Dancing and getting my chops back. Re-cutting my teeth. Remembering shit long forgotten to remember. Technique type shit.

So on the way home, and until I fell asleep, I was feeling kinda dejected. Self-downing. Feeling my age. Feeling unknown. Feeling unloved. Platonic/friend type love. In my tango life. At the height of feeling loved and loving and in love like never before. That would be Sugar G.

Otherwise I did my damnedest at cabeceo all night. Or mirada. Whatever. Whatever the fuck. Trying to elicit some reciprocal mirada. A sign. Any sign of interest. But it t'weren't meant to be I suppose.






The next day was an entirely different story. Tall flaming red hair was looking for a tool of some sort to punch a new hole in a Comme il Faut strap. I had cabeceo'd her the night before to no avail. Turns out I had a Leatherman multi-tool in my truck and offered to grab it, since she wasn't having any luck finding anything in the venue. So that worked out, turned it into a tanda, although it was a pretty sucky invite because I had to come up from the back/side. Nice dance. Nice woman. A good friend of a good friend as it turns out.

Then I got cabeceo'd. Ego boost and shared bodily fluids. Sweat, anyway. Sweat never bothers me. Especially when it's mutual. Another nice tanda with a nice woman.

Encuentros are like that I suppose, full of nice, good, real people. Invitation only is a damn good filter of the tango riff-raff.

Two four hour stints back-to-back wore our tango asses out. Plumb tuckered. Out. So we chose to screw instead. Okay, make that 'make love'. We made love and skipped the milonga. Netlix and screw. Missed the great dj I haven't heard in years. Oh well.

Leisurely morning, woke up slow, and headed on back to the house.

More dancing in two milongas than in the prior 10-12 months.




Ego restored back to neutral. I guess. Good first encuentro. Fun. Sweet. Some connections made and introductions had for next time.

I need to work on my cabeceo/mirada/invites. I suck at it. I'm very particular about the music that moves me to want to dance. I'm also very particular about who interests me to invite. Probably too particular. I'm also pretty committed to non-verbal invites.

I need to work on all that.

Less sitting that way. I hear y'all. Sitting sucks. It really sucks when you want to be dancing and the opportunities seem ripe. Or is it rife? A little of both I think. Maybe.

In theory.

But if the women never make eye contact, that makes it tough.

Chaos Theory of Floorcraft :: Part 2

Here is a flowchart/diagram diagrammatical grammatical graphical interface dance notation of every known perpetration and permutation of bad floorcraft, and the evasive/corrective maneuvers to compensate for being on the receiving end of bad floorcraft and also with all good floorcraft techniques and manifestations also illustrated...(this is a joke)

Artist unknown, and I don't know what his actually represents. Probably nothing. Probably just someone doodling.

I thought it was funny. In this context. Hilarious, actually.

I ran across the image whilst farting around and looking at this: Images extracted from the latter half of Choregraphie, a book first published in 1700 which details a dance notation system invented by Raoul-Auger Feuillet which revolutionised the dance world. Just out of curiosity.

Chaos Theory of Floorcraft Part 1 :: The Coolest Man Dancing Tango

Here's Murat Erdemsel at YoLaTango in Austin back in 2014. We miss our YoLaTango! That was always a great mini-festival! Scottish Rite Theater is a fantastic venue.

This video is actually Part 3 in his series - titled "Murat and Michelle Erdemsel at YolaTango 2014: Improve floor craft on tango dance-floors PART-3" (Scroll down to the bottom for Parts 1 & 2 - Part 2 is from YoLaTango as well...)

There's actually very little "meat" on the subject of floorcraft in this video - but I'm not complaining. Using humor, he pokes a bit of fun at leader (left) hand positions, what I've referred to on this blog as "hand forms". I'm not sure if I ever got around to writing the post about the guy I used to encounter with the "waving palm frond" hand form. Oh well. Bizarre hand forms don't piss me off like they used to. Approaching fifteen years in, I've matured in my tango, and hopefully I'm more Zen/Taoist about it. Although bad floorcraft still pisses me off.

Anyway...so for just over the first six minutes of the video Murat does a skit, although perhaps the better word is shtick, on hand form. Pretty good. Pretty funny. Michelle is his beautiful assistant. Too bad they split up. :(

Beginning at 6:25 in the video, he talks for the last two minutes on "the evolution of the coolest man dancing tango in the milongas", with a few subtle nods to practicing good floorcraft. He starts out with importance of the connection between the couple, their connection to the music, and then the connection of the couple to the dancers around them. It's also common now to hear talk (or read about) of all of the dancers in the milonga ultimately being connected to each other physically (through negative space) and dynamically, vs. energetically. A murmuration of starlings comes to mind, although humans are not nearly as perfect as Mother Nature provides. Not by a longshot.

So he makes a good point in this last part, that the "coolest man dancing tango" is "the man who inspires other men to want to dance behind him". Because he provides a safe space by practicing good floorcraft. The coolest man allows those safe spaces to open up in front of the dancers behind him. A very good point indeed. I never thought about it this way. Kudos to Murat for this.

The video description on YouTube also makes a few good points about floorcraft (aka navigation and all of the various elements that combine into the grand subject of floorcraft). That floorcraft is "the most boring subject in tango", which is probably true, because I don't think many teachers actually emphasize it enough in their classes. In my view, it should be touched on in each and every class, and focused on in beginner classes for the first three to six months of a dancer's path into tango. Ideally.

The second extremely important point: "how to follow the line of the dance or a responsibility that many men claim to fulfill but in reality they do not..."

And the final point: "For the sake of having an ultimate dancing experience for every dancer dancing with peace, respect and happiness while maintaining responsibilities."


Here's the full video description:

Murat Erdemsel speaking specifically about "evolution of the coolest man dancing tango in milongas".
It is one of the most boring subjects to study in tango; how to follow the line of the dance or a responsibility that many men claim to fulfill but in reality they do not.
Murat, and Michelle helping during his impersonations, finding ways to bring it to all men during the actual milonga and making it fun to listen. For the sake of having an ultimate dancing experience for every dancer dancing with peace, respect and happiness while maintaining responsibilities.


For the sake of good floorcraft.

For the sake of planting the seeds of good floorcraft.

How do we, as dancers, teachers, organizers, and communities promote and influence and manifest the practice of good floorcraft? Because it seems to fall by the wayside much too frequently, and we all end up having to contend with the perpetrations and permutations of bad floorcraft.

A final thanks to Murat (and Michelle) for this video, the video series, and for their contributions to and influences on the Austin Tango Community.

And to a big thank you to Elif and Marc - for the bravery to give "good floorcraft" center stage at a (mini) festival - a novel idea to have the visiting teachers do a class/presentation on it right before a milonga. This should happen more.

Afterthought...

It's not lost on me that the guys who think they are the coolest man dancing tango, dancing to impress themselves, dancing to impress their partner, or worse, dancing to impress others in the room, are most frequently the ones who are oblivious to the dancers around them, dancing without respecting them or the spaces around them, dancing too big for the milonga, and are generally oblivious to (good) floorcraft and the thoughtful and earnest practice of it.

None of those guys will ever read this.

Okay, now, really, finally, and for the record, here are the first two videos of Murat's series:

AirMilonga by OpenMilonga. Improve floor craft on tango dance-floors PART-1



More "meat" on floorcraft in this one, again before a milonga at YoLaTango (starting at the one minute mark), again using humor - the "four types of guys" - which we all want to be the Type 4 guy.

Murat and Michelle Erdemsel at YolaTango: Improve floor craft on tango dance-floors PART-2



And now, really finally lastly, as a reward to those of you who read and scrolled all the way down, here are Murat and Michelle dancing at YoLaTango 2014 to Pedro Laurenz' "Yo quiero cantar un tango" with Alberto Podesta singing...impeccable musicality...

Negative Cabaceo aka Saying No

From the website www.030tango.com - a Berlin, Germany based tango portal site...

Follower Wisdom from April Parker

Here's the text of her post:

There seems to be a misconception in my region (Atlanta/SE U.S.) surrounding the rules of engagement in milongas. I hope that an experienced dancer and teacher (ME) can shed some light on things for those of you who are confused and experiencing emotionally painful things in milongas. It can be devastating to get all dressed up, go out, and then sit all night watching everyone else have fun. It hurts because you think that maybe these other dancers don't think you're good enough. I've been there many times. And I had to get past myself in order to grow out of that time. These days it is RARE that I'm sitting out against my will.

LADIES/FOLLOWERS: You. Are. Not. Meant. To. Be. Passive. Why should you be? You can work, be breadwinners, vote, hold public office, and many other things. Why do some of you think that it has to be always the man's choice and decision to help you have a fun night of dancing? F*** all that! Cabeceo does not involve you sitting there waiting for somebody to ask you to dance with them. You should be CHOOSING the men/leaders you want to dance with! Go forth and use those eyes! Show them with your smile that you're interested in dancing with them. The leaders have a hard enough time getting the nerve up every time to ask people to dance with them, and I can guarantee many will be very delighted to see you clear a pathway for them to ask you back with their eyes, and they will know it's going to be an easy deal!

Sometimes they won't look back, though. This probably means NO. And that's ok! They also have the right to refuse- JUST AS YOU HAVE. You should NEVER turn against yourself by blaming yourself, and you should most especially NEVER turn it against them and call them snobby/elitist. Deflecting your pain onto others by blaming them is not the best way to have a good time in tango- for everyone involved. Most important thing to remember: you are not entitled to dances, period. Just because you're in the room does not mean people owe you a good time. That's your business to make a good time happen for you- not the other way around. And if good times still aren't happening, in spite of all your actions taken to mingle and meet people, and looking at partners to signal your desire to dance with them-and no one at all seems to know you exist- you've got to try to remain positive and remind yourself that NO ONE OWES YOU A GOOD TIME. Remember that from all that mingling, you've just made some new friends. And they very well may look to dance with you the next time you see them. That's not bad!

I have more that I'd like to share on this subject, but this post is already long- so I will save the rest of my thoughts for a later time. I just see the discussion happening around this week surrounding these subjects, and I feel the pain of those involved. And I want you to know that I've been there and I've gotten past that part. And I'm much happier now! I hope that my thoughts and experiences can help you also get past your pain. Please inbox me if you have questions- I'd really love to help those who desperately need to understand and want to enjoy instead of having bad experiences.

Please everyone- do not use this thread to argue your opinions on cabeceo. Or to argue at all. With all my love, I am reaching out to people who need to understand how to get past painful ruts in their tango journeys.

Love, April

And I KNOW how stinking long this post is, but I have to clarify one thing: IF YOU ARE IN A RUT AND YOU ARE FEELING BAD, READING BLOGS WILL NOT HELP YOU. Please call me, write to me, set up coffee date with me- just give me a chance to listen to you and help support you. You need help getting past this, and I want to help you.

XO

Pseudo-cabaceos by Daniel Boardman and Michelle McRuiz

Taken and condensed from Daniel Boardman's and Michelle McRuiz' "From Bench Warming To Dancing In Thirty Seconds or Less: How to use cabeceo effectively"

The Art of The Cabeceo

Thanks to Oleh for the find...

The Art of The Cabeceo [from Tango Chamuyo]

[foto by alex.tango.fuego]

Here is Janis Kenyon's letter to the editor on the subject of Milena Pleb's interview in El Tangauta No. 168 [July 2008]. Thanks to Mari over at My Tango Diaries for sharing this on Facebook.

http://jantango.wordpress.com/2010/03/06/the-art-of-the-cabeceo/

As I was reading, the first thing I noticed was this: "He may not have seen a woman dance with another man yet."

That's an important one for me, perhaps the most important.

99% of the time I won't invite a woman to dance unless I have watched her dance. What am I looking for? First and foremost - is she dancing close embrace? If her eyes are closed that always catches my eye - bonus points. I observe the nuances and character of her walk - leg extension, caressing the floor as she steps, collecting her feet, waiting for the lead.

Auto-boleos, excessive un-led embellishments or shoulder musicality are sure-fire deal killers for me. I'm probably missing out on some good dances, but that's just me. I find it difficult to get past that stuff and enjoy the dance. It's a distraction for me, distracting for my lead.

I'm way too selective/critical/picky in my invitations to dance. I freely and publicly acknowledge that. I try to work on that at every milonga I go to. That's the best I can do.

My experience in Buenos Aires was that cabeceo didn't work for me. Zero, zilch, nada, one rather large goose egg. My tango at the time was intermediate mediocre at best - so that was working against me. With porten~as, they generally won't respond to strange gringos - especially strange gringos, or I should say yanquis, who have a fucked up walk.

It worked just fine with European and American followers. Verbal invites worked with them, too. Verbal invites do not work, or at least didn't for me, with porten~as. Unless you are really good looking, or a really good dancer. Or unless you have had a personal introduction through a mutual friend. Then you are no longer a stranger from a strange land. That's my take on it.

The time-honored codigos of tango are important for us all to be learn and be knowledgeable about, incorporate them into our tango as best we can, and spread the good word.

We should all try to work on our cabeceo here in the U.S. - number one because it works - it's a proven method for non-verbal invitations. Number two - for when we make it back to Buenos Aires. Some day.

On Cabeceo

Hardisty
Originally uploaded by Matthew Nasholm

Photo of how *not* to cabeceo a woman...(grin)

Definition :: Cabeceo is the natural, normal, non-verbal communication using body language of the eyes/face/head to invite someone you know to dance, or at least let them know you're interested. The challenge is making it work with someone you don't know, at a distance, in a dimly lit ballroom, while she's trying to cabeceo someone who is not you, and three other guys are trying to cabeceo her.

At a recent tango event, the organizer said this during the (very long) announcements:

"Oh, and ladies, it's *okaaay* to ask the men to dance. After all, this *is* Austin, we're more relaxed here."

The audible thud was my lower jaw smacking the poorly jointed plywood floor. I couldn't believe it. An organizer, actually caught, publicly, in the act of spreading dis-information about Argentine Tango, counter-propaganda AGAINST the proven and decades-old codigo of cabeceo.

Here's a good post on cabeceo from Miss Tango. It's from the follower's perspective, dancing in Buenos Aires, but gives good leader insight as well. Be sure to read the comments as well.

Granted, in the U.S. use of the cabeceo is spotty at best. Ballrooms at festivals are large and dimly lit. I practice what I will call "recon" cabeceo. You can't do it sitting statically in the same seat all night. You have to get up and mingle. Get your water. Get your vino tinto. Chitty chat with friends. Strike up conversations with women you don't know.

In short, you have to "work the room". Keep in mind that I am not the type who is at the milonga to dance every tanda or every follower. I'm into quality over quantity. If you are always on the dance floor, even during cortinas (another BIG no-no...BIG), the principles of cabeceo become less applicable to you.

Also note that cabeceo'ing someone while you are both on the dance floor, or one of you is on the dance floor and another is not, is also a big no-no. No, no, no, no, no, no. (Imagine my inflection.)

I once danced with a woman who I could discern was scanning the horizon for leaders behind me. When I mentioned to her friend that I was put off by it, the friend told her, and she said "he could tell that?". Yes I could, dearest. At the time I said I would never dance with her again (her friend didn't tell her this, I don't think), and this is highly likely. I may give her once more chance if I ever see her again. Maybe. Perhaps.

The same holds true if I witness a woman doing it with another leader (cabeceo on the dance floor). If she's doing it with/to him, she'll do it with/to me. The point is this. She's not *there* in the dance/tanda with *me*. She's not present. She's there but she's not. Her mind is elsewhere and the quality and character of the dance will no doubt suffer.

On cabeceo for leaders, here's a reply I left for a commenter last month:

ANONYMOUS::
I'm curious how you managed to ask people to dance at Fandango. Heard it is huge space filled with lots of people sitting around all over the place. You can't do it via eye contact. Any tips?

ALEX.TANGO.FUEGO::
Night vision binoculars and morse code with a flashlight.

Another idea is a t-shirt emblazoned front and back "For a good tanda, call 555-1212".

It is next to impossible to cabaceo from one side of the ballroom to the other. I typically sit over on the right with my back to the wall (it's a Texas thing). I scope followers out on the dance floor as best I can, and then make note of where they are sitting. I have a little map and number the tables, then I use a numerical ranking system 6 through 10. 1 through 5 are not even on my radar. I'm kidding, I'm kidding!

I do try to make mental note of where different followers are sitting, and then try to intercept her (at her table) during the cortina. I'm kinda weird about this - it doesn't seem proper to approach her right on the edge of the dance floor, or even after she has just sat down. I try to give her a minute, or at least a few seconds, but often lose out to other leads who are more aggressive in their invitations. Oh well. You snooze you lose.

Some of the better followers never leave the dance floor, because they/their leads don't follow the codigo/tradition of clearing the dance floor during the cortina. If they do end a tanda with a leader, they will likely get intercepted on the dance floor by another overzealous lead. To me, it's all about being/playing fair and sharing the best followers. Not 'hogging' them tanda after tanda in other words.

So, in my cruising the back row (along the wall where the exit doors are), to scope things out on the other side of the room, I make a lot of eye contact, stop and chat, say hi, use the 'water cooler move', or just generally lurk/loiter/wander aimlessly (but don't "stalk") any technique like that - to lay the ground work for future invites. You might call it guerrilla cabeceo or search and destroy - not a good word - let's say 'recon' missions.

Very often these shenanigans on my part end up in an invite along the way and I'll end up on the dance floor, without ever really making it back to my table much.

But, cabeceo while sitting is next to impossible, except for the people in your immediate vicinity. I'm also at a disadvantage (as many are), in that I'm behind most of the followers (with my back to the wall ya know?). I once made the mistake of tapping a woman on the shoulder from behind to ask her to dance - she was sitting in the singles/followers row of seats facing the dance floor - let's just say it was not a good idea.

So, there's a lot of verbal inviting, but it's based on preliminary 'recon' cabeceo while walking around.

Also, I'll try to strike up conversations with women out in the lobby - looking at shoes or clothes or whatever - just to break the ice. Then it's easier to say "Let's dance later - I'll look for you..." or something like that.

It's also easier if you are taking the classes, then you will 'know' or at least recognize women you may have danced with in class.

Lastly, I know more Texas followers this time around, so the ice has already been broken with many more women, making it a given that I will invite them to dance.

The most important tip I can offer is not to ask a woman to dance unless you've seen her dance. It's not always possible, but I try to stick to this as much as I can.

Hope this helps.

No women asked me to dance at the event where the announcement was made...a very good sign...