I've been reading with great interest all of the comments that readers have been leaving on my prior post "The Surrender".
Danzarin's comment in particular (at 5:30am this morning) got me to wondering, is it, this ever elusive "surrender", that is responsible for what we call the tango "epiphany", some call the "tangasm". That special dance with the special someone that may not be repeated all night - nor in a month of dances, nor a year of dances.
For me, I have always said these occured for me one in one hundred dances - alhtough it may be more like one in fifty or one in thirty. Except for the one follower - the one where only one in one hundred dances does not feel like this. Two souls - two energetic beings - our true beings - our true "selves" - embracing one another - a concept that came to me in a dream many months ago.
Is there a tango "soulmate" for each of us? The "one"? The Neo and the Trinity?
This is from La Tanguera on her blog...verbatim...it goes to my earlier post
On Connection, Quality vs. Quantity and Learning to Feel *It*
As I've learned and moved ahead on my "Tango Road" over the last 3-4 years, I have also become gradually more selective regarding who I dance with. The reason is simple: it is more likely that I will have a blissful Tanda with those leaders with whom I have already developed a good connection, have similar sensibility to mine and are skilled enough to interpret the music and really dance. But, recently, the words of a Tango Teacher and the observation of a really good Tanguera in my community have made me wonder...
Could I, by being selective, lose my ability to connect?
Hum. *That* is a thought.
So, now you'll ask me: OK, Tanguera; How did you even come up with *this*? After all, prefering Quality versus Quantity is a sign that one has evolved enough to truly value the connection and the quality of the dance. No?
Well, Yes. Or so I have been thinking so far... In fact, I will admit to the fact that it can be quite hard for me to dance with some people, not so much because of their actual skill level (although in some cases it can definitely cause trouble), but because of their emotional understanding of the music. To me, it is important that we both are in the same wave, that our sensibilities are compatible--that the intensity which we feel the music is similar, that it is natural for us to move with more dynamic energy at one point, or slow down at another. This sense of emotional connection and telepathy is what can make this dance such a powerful encounter.
But I'm starting to think that being too selective in choosing the leaders I dance with also entails the following risk: that I am putting *my* sensibility and understanding of the music as a benchmark of what it *should* be, instead of giving myself the opportunity to understand the *his* sensibility, even if completely different from mine. Taking things to an extreme, it means that I'm actually prefering to stay in my comfort zone--dancing mostly with those who interpret the Tango World like I do--rather than venturing on a trip to a very strange and unknown place, which I may not understand at first, but that I may eventually come to value and enjoy. Moreover, as I stay farther away from those people who seem harder for me to understand, it is likely that it will also become more difficult for me to open up to them.
There is a Tanguera I know who seems to have mastered this ability to open up I am talking about. She is regarded as one of the best dancers in my community, and yet she is one of the least "choosy" followers I've ever seen. Watching her, I am amazed at how she moves seemingly without any trouble from dancing a Tanda with a visiting Tango Teacher or a Hot Shot to dancing the following Tanda with a mediocre leader with poor musicality. The surprising thing for me is that she seems to enjoy it every single time. And I don't think she is pretending, because she dances with that same mediocre leader at the next week's Milonga. So, she must be onto something there.
Quite frankly, I had always been a bit puzzled by her seemingly odd choices, until I had a discussion on connection with my Tango Teacher during a private lesson. He commented that, in his view, one of the best exercises to learn how to connect was to dance with more people, even if they were not regarded as "good" dancers, and the emotional understanding of the music was less than perfectly compatible. He argued that it was possible to learn to enjoy a dance with almost anyone, if one focused on paying attention to them and listening to what they were trying to say.
To be honest, I was quite skeptical about how much I could ever enjoy dancing with someone who is in a completely different mental wave than me about the music, technique issues aside. And still, watching this Tanguera in action, I have to admit that perhaps there is some truth in all this after all. While I am still convinced that there must be limits to it, maybe one can really learn to open up even beyond what we are willing to think possible. And, perhaps, giving ourselves this chance can take us to some beautiful places we would have never seen otherwise.
Story #1:: Tango dancer (follower) of eight or ten years....very beautiful and sexy woman...very good dancer....talking about the 2006 Fandango de Tango...at which she sat for 3 hours without being asked to dance...her friend, from Washington, D.C., who came with her to watch...and had never danced one minute of tango....danced all night long...
Story #2:: Woman from Spain at a practica last night....she took two tango classes three years ago...and is a better dancer/follower than many women with much more dancing time (avoiding the word "experience" - "dancing time" and "experience" can be two different things...)...she too came with a friend to watch...but she danced all night...mostly with me.....while many others sat...the Woman from Spain happened to be beautiful/sexy/intelligent/Spanish/exotic...and married...so many women...so many married women...
On my way to this movie yesterday, because of the time period the movie is set in, and the fact that it is set in South America (albeit Colombia, en el norte), i wondered if there might be any tango references in the film. No, don't get excited - there is no tango dancing, but there is one scene with a short clip of tango music. I don't want to give too much away - it's the scene with the character America - Florentino is picking her up at the train station - and there is a tango song playing in the background - emanating from some shop along the street. I'm pretty sure it's Carlos Gardel - but now I can't remember enough to ID the song.
Overall, I liked the movie, but it was nothing earthshatteringly moving. I thought John Leguizamo was poorly cast as the father. I thought the acting was "off" at times. The makeup was absolutely terrible. I was expecting more based on their use of Leonard Maltin's quote "This is the best movie I have seen all year..."
I don't think I will give away too much by saying this - so be warned - if you plan to see the movie you might want to stop reading now....
There is a scene toward the end...and Florentino is talking to Fermina about love...and he says something like this....
"Love is a state of grace, it is not a means to an end...it is an end unto itself..." and something else more profound that I can't remember now...the "means to an end" is rather cliche'd...but it was a good line...in a good scene...
Photo by Leone...from the Catania (Italia) Tango Festival...
I find that some beginning followers have trouble with what I call "the surrender". I feel it in the first few seconds of the embrace and ensuing equilibration. I feel it - or not. Some very experienced followers have still not mastered it. It comes from everything within a woman (I think) - her past relationships - her body image - her self confidence - her insecurities - her nervousness at being new to the dance - or the absence of nervousness.
I have danced with rank beginners (first time on the floor) who although I feel their nervousness - quickened breathing - heart fluttering against my chest - sweaty palms - almost to the point of trembling - but who still seem to have mastered the surrender from the get-go.
Actually, I don't think it's something that can be "mastered". I wonder if it's something that you are born with, or not. But then I know it must come with an increasing comfort level - comfort with the dance, comfort with follower vocabulary, comfort with a leader, desire to dance with a leader. A woman may have a perfect surrender with one leader - and be more tentative about it with another.
I don't think the surrender can be taught...nor "practiced"...nor even conveyed verbally...what's a leader to do?
All I know is that I feel it - when a woman surrenders herself to me - surrenders herself to be led by me - surrenders the placement of her feet to me - surrenders control of her axis to me - surrenders herself to my embrace - and when I feel it, it feels so very good.
I was just reading Johanna's blog "Hugging is Now Illegal", or at least against school rules. It seems this kid's school has a zero tolerance policy for public displays of affection (PDA's) and hugging (and I assume physical contact) of any kind is banned. The 13 year old little girl give her girlfriend a weekend "goodbye" hug...apparently the "half hug" one arm around the shoulder squeeze variety. The kid took detention in lieu of suspension - the american educational system's equivalent of pleading guilty to avoid jail time. (Note that I refused to capitalize the "a" in america as a small protest.)
Johanna's post reminded me of a YouTube video a friend sent me several weeks ago. It's about a guy, Juan Mann, ...here is the blurb from the video...."Free Hugs" is the real life controversial story of Juan Mann, a man who's SOLE mission was to reach out and hug a stranger to brighten up their lives.
I am struck by the multiple meanings of the words "Free Hugs". It can mean what Juan Mann meant - a hug from a stranger at no cost or obligation. "Free Hugs" can also mean the same thing as "free association". It have a meaning similar to "Free Leonard Peltier" (from prison)...are the hugs of our american society imprisoned? What about "free thinking"? What about "free-dom"? What about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness as our forefathers envisioned it?
We should represent tango not only as a dance, an art form, a free expression of our selves and our creativity - but a place to get "Free Hugs"...
I'm not finished quite yet...
america sucks in so many areas - international relations - energy policy - consumerism - materialism - crime (all varieties) - violence against our fellow humans - even worse violence (physical and emotional abuse) against our kids and our wives and daughters and sisters - racism - discrimination - general intolerance - environmental destruction - just to name a few. Let's face it, at least thirty percent of us are so fucked-up-in-the-head that we in turn spread this insidious "fucked-up-ed-ness" through generation after generation. It spreads through our society like a virus.
I have long believed - formulating my beliefs when I went through the system back when I was 16 or 18 years old - and refining them in the thirty years since - that america sucks because of the sole suckage of our educational system. When we are graduating students from high school who can't think or read or write or count change at McDonald's or make a consistent triple mocha from day to day - there is something terribly wrong.
We can address so many of society's ills...simply by addressing the issues of our educational system.
It's not the folks working in the system - I think most of them have their hearts and souls in the right place - some of them aren't worth a shit (oops, was that discrimination?) and need to be cut loose. It's a systemic problem - the system is too big and cumbersome and slow moving - we are throwing too much money at it as nation. We could do more with less.
I can't keep going...there is to much to say on this issue...but we need to address it...if we are to return to the freedom loving, freedom living, freedom talking the and freedom walking, society, country, nation and government of the people, by the people and for the people. Along the way somewhere, we lost what our forefathers envisioned for us.
But we are all too busy chasing the american dream...chasing the dollars to pay our bills and break even this month...to have the time to organize and show up at our schools and...do something about it.
Ghandi said it best...."BE the change you wish to see in the world..."
Okay, now I'm done with my diatribe...thanks for listening...
Level "C/D" Advanced Stuff...BEGINNERS DO NOT ATTEMPT...ESPECIALLY NOT AT A CROWDED MILONGA! Here it is (on the subject of the prior post)...at time marker -2:50...a rotationally led cross unwinding volcada on the close side...followed by another on the open side...note that Giselle did not "un"-cross...
What's the general consensus...after leading a follower to the cross (with a juicy pause immediately after the cross)...and transferring her weight to her left foot...should she keep her right foot behind (in the crossed postion) (not "unwinding")...or should she "unwind" (uncross) her right foot and bring it to the collected position?
My personal opinion is that unwinding/uncrossing, executed in a certain way, can be much more aesthetically pleasing...both in feeling and observation...plus, the follower is then "more" ready to take a forward step (in extremely rare cases - like a practica) or a side step (more common).
When her right foot is crossed behind, it makes a forward or side step awkward if not impossible, and the only option is a back step (for her).
Granted, this does not apply to the cross without a juicy pause, when you walk right through the cross, there is no time to unwind....there is the weight transfer and then the walk out in a back step...
This also does not delve into the subject of "led" unwinding options...
What does everyone think - when in a "pause" just after the cross - should a follower unwind on her own or not?
Alex
P.S. Now that I have finished this...I know what the majority will say...
From Nuit (left)...and Tangobaby...in their tango travels to Venezia...thank you ladies...they will be treasured...(ack! sorry tangobaby's is cut off on the right...click the photo to see the full size version on flickr...)
The divine Ms. Nuit found this on TangoMundo.net It's too good not to repost.
It's a short film called "La Apertura". Here is the synopsis:: Daniel's big chance to get everything he wants — his dream, his love, a way out of his poor Buenos Aires Province — has finally arrived. But at what price? Awards::Zinebi Festival of Documentary and Short Film, Spain - Festival Audience Award
You know how when you are going to buy a new car, and you finally decide on what model and color, then you start to see them everywhere? Driving down the road, on every street corner, parked everywhere, in the valet, they just all of a sudden mysteriously start appearing everywhere. I just love how our minds work.
Is it the same with Tango? I notice tango (mostly nuevo) songs in movies, couples dancing (or feigning to dance) tango in bedroom and ballroom scenes, gum named "Tango", cookies with Tango themic (is this a word?) advertising...
I was just reading TangoCherie's post on Tango-L about having a busload of milongueros from BsAs travel across the U.S. stopping in the major tango communities...
It made me think about how we all have our tango dreams ... if not full blown fantasies...
One of mine is a copy of Robert Duvall's reality...I want to (someday) build a tango "barn" like he has ... and dance tango in the evenings with the love of my life ... I will dig out the clipping from my files and post it ... I even have a file full of "character imagery" for the barn and house ...
Leave a comment and share your own tango fantasy ...
