Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Leaders' Tango Fashion Faux Pas

Dudes, this is short and sweet and hopefully to the point...

Do not wear Wrangler jeans and ropers (cowboy boots).

Do not wear a white silk "outfit" consisting of Japanese inspired capri pants, with a dainty matching short sleeve top with a nehru collar, bottomed out with patent leather white shoes and cute little white socks. If a woman had been wearing this, I would have been weak in the knees. With a guy wearing it, I was just scared. (Truth be told, this "outfit" was in a class, not a milonga, which is even worse.) Guys do not wear "outfits". Never ever. And capri pants? WTF?

Do not wear gigantic enormous billowy high water Maoist pant-type things with side snaps where your legs show through. The visual of hairy male leg skin is too shocking to the other males and it negates, offsets, and dilutes the calm inducing preponderance/predominance of the large amounts of female leg skin.

I would love to wear a kilt to stay cool in a milonga. I would probably dance more by staying cooler. But I won't. I promise.

A side note on female leg skin. During a class this weekend, I minorly dinged my partner's shin doing a leader back sacada. (I know, I know...) Being an attentive and respectful and caring kinda guy, I apologized and immediately bent over to check it and rub it a little. I was not expecting the level of smoothness, softness, suppleness that I encountered with the tip of my right index finger. It was almost mind blowing. My reaction was to stand bolt upright and resume the embrace whilst muttering something like "holy shit". She got it. We laughed. I love to laugh (when in context) in classes (more often) and milongas (much less often). It seems too many people are taking tango way too seriously.

That is all.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

You forgot to add, do not wear a bandanna on you head, other dudes might think you are gay!

Anonymous said...

You forgot to add, do not wear a bandanna on your head, other dudes might think you are gay!

Alex said...

Anon, from Denver,

Strong post to follow.

Anonymous said...

At least make sure it's the right color!! And, um, the right pocket.

miss tango said...

Seriously?! I just don't think I would be able to dance with them, I would be laughing way too hard!

miss tango said...

Jayzus! That was hysterical. Tried to read aloud to the Pelado and almost peed my pants laughing so hard, couldn't get through the Mao billow pants...