"Followers who know how to follow and feel good doing it."
This was the last sentence of my prior post so I will continue with that thought.
What exactly is it that makes some followers "feel good" and some followers feel "not-so-good"? (This is from my perspective as a leader, but is also true for followers - some leaders feel good, and some don't...)
Is it some elusive nebulous quality?
Is it the experiential/intellectual? Is it her years of tango experience - what she has learned and what she knows how to do?
Is it quantum physics - what she is thinking about, combined in the metaphysical soup between us - intertwined with what I am thinking about? Is it how her/my day went, how her/my week is going, how her/my life is going?
Is it the visual stimuli - the way she looks? Her body type? Her figure? Do I have to find her attractive for this feeling to work? Is it what she is wearing - perhaps showing a little skin in a few of the right places?
Is it chemically induced - whether or not she is drinking wine tonight or just took a Xanax or is on Prozac or Zoloft? Or could it be the olfactory sensory stimuli that I recieve and react to - the smell of her hair, her skin, her b.o.? Or the reverse - her reactions to my scent(s)? Maybe it's some kind of pheromone thing.
Is it the way she feels - the tactile? Is it how she feels when I embrace her - the multitude of physical sensations - the brush of her hair against my arm, the feeling of her hand in my hand, the feeling of her breasts smashed against my chest, the feeling of her cheek or forehead against me? Is it the flutter of her heart that I can detect against my skin?
Is it because she knows how to relax? Is it the energy of the venue, the room, the other dancers, the feel of the floor beneath our feet? Of course it is the music - it is always the music. Is the alignment of the planets - the moon and the stars?
Is it because she knows how to surrender?
I think it is all of these things, combined into one single moment of union with another human being. At the risk of seeming silly, I don't think George Lucas was too far off when he wrote of "The Force" in the Star Wars movies. "The Force is strong with this one."
Is it a synchronicity with the life force, everything that binds us together individually and collectively? The force that binds and drives everything in the universe? The rotation and the orbit of a planet. What of a water droplet that falls from the sky and lands on a leaf in the Amazonian rainforest, and then wends its way through the global hydrologic system - nurturing and nourishing plants and creatures?
That force - the perfection of nature and the universe. The perfection of the human body, mind, soul, psyche. The joys and the horrors of the human experience and all its machinations, trials and tribulations, trappings and travails.
The perfection of the perfect tango. The perfection of the perfect connection.
All I know is that I know it when I feel it. And when I don't.
Stay tuned for Part III.
4 comments:
Oh, I love this post.
It's all of that, yet quite elusive, isn't it?
I long for becoming a really good follower: one that any leader would like to have in his arms.
And... what makes a good leader? I am not so advanced that I could grasp it as well as you did, but I'll try.
(and thank you the the link! ;-))
Well done for putting all those factors into words. They do swim around in my head on the dance floor but I haven't got around to verbally expressing them. Yeah it's definitey all those thing, but I guess you don't necessarily need ALL of those for that great connection with somebody. I know when it happens when I feel that I've been put into this wee bubble. The bubble that never bounces, gets interrupted, gets damaged or poked and burst. The bubble that lets you forget everything outside it.... Mmm... :)
as a new & exciteldy naive follower your words are intriguing & intimidating. that's a lot to think about. so far for me what makes a good lead has very little to do with the visual. i suppose that's because in my 5 months of tango dancing i've only danced with one man i felt was even remotely attractive but he was married so it didn't count. well, that is, besides the rare moments when i get to dance with my teacher because everyone knows that ney melo is the hottest tanguero in every single way. he will make any lead want to try being a follower just to have the chance for him to embrace you. yes he is THAT good.
I am sure it's all of those reasons, and then some others that you haven't thought of yet.
But even if you did figure out the magic formula, it would change again because that is the nature of tango.
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