Sunday, March 9, 2008

Hmmm...

I'm in a weird place in my life - or continue to be in a strange place in my life. I thought I was getting it back on track, but was just thrown a huge loop this past week. Or presented with a huge loop? What does that mean? These colloquialisms in our language..."to be thrown a loop"...or "thrown for a loop"...what does that really mean?

Something that I had not anticipated happened. Something major that will change the course of my life - for the better - but still the change is unsettling right now. It's like a drawer being dumped out - or a deck of playing cards being thrown into the air. I'm searching for analogies here, but not doing very well.

I could not have anticipated it, but at the same time I should have anticipated it. Someday, maybe I will write about it. Someday, maybe I will talk about it. I can't now because my feelings are too raw right now. My thoughts are all over the place - confused and disjointed. I'm tired of pretending everything is "okay" in my life - when it clearly is not.

My spirit is crushed.

6 comments:

Johanna said...

Oh Alex. Big abrazos to you. I know it's not going to help, but know that from great pain can come great growth. Only you can decide which way to go.

tangobaby said...

I hope this dark cloud will show its silver lining soon. It's hard to be patient in difficult times, even when you know that good things will be the result. I hope you find solace and happy moments to carry you through.

Ana said...

It's hard but important time in live. To see what's not OK and to replace it at least in your dreams with a picture of your desired life. This will help it happened.

La Nuit Blanche said...

alex, i hope you're all right. i know this must sound lame, and i have no idea what happened, but it's spring! get lots of sleep and lots of sunlight. besos from miles and miles away::::

Alex said...

Thanks ladies...I will be okay...I am okay...

Baby and Nuit...someday I will tell you all about it in person...

Alex said...

Oh, and Nuit...I've been feeling the need for sunshine...and sunning myself whenever I can the past couple of weeks...