Thursday, April 17, 2008

Charmed, I'm sure...

From Nina Pesochinski on Tango-L...

"If a man has charm, he can be a bad dancer and I will not even notice
it. But if a man has no charm, then I will hold him to the highest
standard of dancing."

Ouch. Now I'm wondering if I have any charm, or if I need to get my ass to work on my tango....?

Here is her entire post...

Subject: [Tango-L] dressing well?
From: Nina Pesochinsky <>
Date: Thu, 17 Apr 2008 19:19:04 -0600



Yes, indeed, one might need a cold shower or two after that. I would
love to see that, instead of the amoeba tango so prevalent everywhere now.

Dressing well in tango is not about the clothes. It is about respect
- of yourself and others. The author of the article made it very
clear that, in his opinion, in bad nuevo, bad clothes communicate no respect.

It is about self-care. It is also about the stimulus value - knowing
what effect you have on others and being able to control that.

Personally, I respect a man that can dress himself well (and does not
need a woman to pick out his ties). Maybe the bad clothes
communicate "Save me!" or "I am looking for a home". Or maybe they
just communiate that a person does not know himself/herself well and
how he/she presents himself/herself to the world. Or maybe they say
- "Stay away!" or "look at me!", or "I am a rebel!". Or maybe the
bad clothes clearly state a "nuevo" gang affilliation. Do they have
their colors? :)

Dancing well is not a phenomena isolated from other things about a
person. A person cannot dance well and remain a slob in his/her
life. Tango does not forgive lying. If one tries to lie in this
dance, he/she willl pay with self-esteem.

Personally, if a man has charm, I don't care what he wears, as long
as he smells good. But charm is rare and very expensive in a
non-material way. It requires a purposeful cultivation of an innate
talent. And a very controlled ego.

If a man has charm, he can be a bad dancer and I will not even notice
it. But if a man has no charm, then I will hold him to the highest
standard of dancing.



At 01:50 PM 4/17/2008, Joe Grohens wrote:

>Well, let's watch a traditional couple who really knows how to dance
>tango, and who are dressed properly. Keep your fire extinguisher
>handy. You may need a cold shower afterward.


Red shoes said...

Sure you do, Alex--we already had the conversation about your dance card in SF being filled already, and I don't think many of us have even laid eyes on you yet!

I won't turn down a dance with a leader who's badly dressed, but it probably will make me less likely to seek out his cabeceo. Since tango demands awareness of so much at once, it gives me hope to see dancers whose care in their appearance declares awareness of their body and personality. It's the least we can do for each other. That said, I don't think it's necessary to be dressed to the nines at every milonga: a clean, flattering outfit and evidence of a recent shower and shave is all I ask.

Charm works, too. I'm weak. :)

Mari said...

I'm with Red Shoes, you've got charm *and* a good dance (always good to cover your bases.)

"Tango does not forgive lying." - Absolutely true. We communicate much more than we intend when we dance. Tango requires us to know ourselves well to dance well.