Friday, April 25, 2008

On The Fedora

Fedora, After the Flood :: by Sean Duggan [f1.4] on Flickr
Photo by Sean Duggan [f1.4] on Flickr

I'm not a good enough dancer to wear a fedora yet. I can't wait until that day. You have to reach a certain point in your tango life, then when you put it on, you will instantly be an even better dancer. The fluidity, grace, economy of motion that have eluded you will come down from the tango heavens and infuse you, infuse your dance, with magical tango powers. Musicality will be gifted and heaped upon you. Your connection and embrace will be sought after by hordes of women far and wide. You will get a smug sense of satisfaction at the lamentations of the women begging you to dance with them. Your gentlemanly arrogant demeanor will be solidified. You will become latin. Your penis will be bigger.

This is a joke. My twisted sense of humor.

The fedora is to tango as clown shoes are to, well, shoes I guess. Apparently, the fedora came about in the early part of the 20th century, along with the cravat tied around the neck. It was worn by the compadrito and the dandy.

Thankfully, not many leaders wear fedoras. If the fedora was a big part of tango, I doubt I would even be dancing tango right now, that's how strongly I feel about it. I have only seen a few leaders ever wear them, and it's what I would expect from these leaders - their lead is bad.

They don't get it. They don't get tango. They don't get the lead.

In a way, I don't want to influence these guys to "not" wear a fedora. It's like a big red flag to followers. It's also a big red flag for leaders, because we can see the followers who dance with these clowns. I don't invite women who dance with fedora-wearing leaders. Sorry, I know I'm being finicky.

So women, when you dance with a bad leader, like Ms. Modern Tanguera, at the end of the first dance of the tanda, unleash every feminine wile within yourself, and in your sexiest sexy voice, say "Your lead is sooo good, I'm on cloud nine. I would think you'd be wearing a fedora. You should get one." And then turn your back on him and walk away.

This whole post is tongue in cheek, over the top.

But the fact remains that fedoras, on the dance floor, bug me. For gentlemen, hats are for the sun, the rain, the snow, or the cold, and are taken off when indoors.

I like the photo though...very cool.

1 comment:

La Nuit Blanche said...


i LOVE this post.

i HATE fedoras in tango too. especially in tango photos. if i see a tango photo with a man wearing a fedora, i need to shut my eyes really tight, in hopes of squeezing that vision right from my brain, and out through my tears.

that's how much fedoras bug me. lol.