Wednesday, April 2, 2008

I can feel your cabeceo...

While I'm on the subject of thinking...and not thinking...and being able to feel it either way...I can also feel your cabeceo...

To me, it is a big, big, big, really big, "no-no", a faux pas - to cabeceo or otherwise scope out other leaders while you are on the floor dancing.

It's only happened to me once, and she has been blacklisted. She knows that I know. She was surprised to find out that I could tell. That I could "feel" her doing it.

First, it tells me that she is thinking...thinking about something else besides dancing with me. I want to dance with followers who are "there", "present", into dancing with me. If they are taking the time out in a dance (or tanda) to be scoping out potential leads, or worse, actually engaging in cabaceo, then they are not there with me.

Engage with me, not with other leaders.

8 comments:

koolricky said...

Oh my god, how I hate that!!!!!

msHedgehog said...

How is this possible, when dancing with a man your height? I mean, I can see how it could easily happen accidentally when, say, dancing with a motorised corset who's huffing determinedly into your cleavage, but how can it happen with someone six-four tall?

Alex said...

The woman it happened with in my case was fairly tall. Plus, being tall, I selectively dance with taller women. They can see over my shoulder. In addition, I see other women dancing with other men and they cabeceo me on the floor. It's just not really polite.

fyi...i danced with 4 or 5 really tall women today...eye to eye with me...and one was about an inch taller than me...I put her at 6-1 or 6-2 without heels 6-5 with 4 or 3 inch heels respectively...i've never seen so many tall women at one festival...

msHedgehog said...

I don't think I've ever done this, even accidentally, thank goodness. And I agree that it's really rude. It is sometimes difficult to avoid catching people's eyes but there's no way I wouldn't immediately blink and look down - it would just be so distracting. One of the reasons it's easier to dance with a man taller than me is that it solves the problem of things happening right in my eyeline.

tangobaby said...

That is plain rude. But I'm usually dancing with my eyes closed anyway. Not that I would ever do that.

Elizabeth said...

I've had people try to catch my eye, and I just close mine when this happens. It would be pretty unfair to my partner if I were to engage anyone else while we dance, and to the partner of the offending cabeceo-er.

Alex said...

Hi everyone!

Just wanted to note that it's different when you see someone you know and there's the little familiar eye acknowledgement...the "eye hi"...

Anyway, I see that as a whole different animal than true cabeceo...

La Nuit Blanche said...

i can also "tell" when a man is saying hello to someone else while he's dancing with me...

i hate that!!

and also when he is looking at the mirror (at himself, or my behind, whatever, but usually it's himself).

i hate that even more!!!